Friday, December 11, 2009

unhappy

So for the past almost 6 weeks I have been going by what my maternal fetal medicine doctor told me, to give it a month or two and we could try again. I have to admit it seemed too good to be true but I just wanted to believe it so bad. I have a friend I went to college with that is now an OB and has answered some questions for me since I had my miscarriage before Samuel so I asked her some more questions. She really had nothing but terrible, honest things to say. She talked about all the risks to me and a possible new baby if I get pregnant right away. It has broken my heart. She said I should wait 12-18 months to try again. So in light of this info I have filled my BCP prescription something I did not want to do. We go back to the MFM doc next week so we will ask him tons of questions including all the stuff that my friend said and go from there. Its killing me to take the pill each night. We want a baby so bad so it seems so wrong to take the pill. This has done things to me emotionally that I was not expecting, I feel like the most terrible wife for not being able to give my husband another baby like he wants.

6 comments:

Trench Mommy said...

I wanted to stop by and say thank for participating in my community!

Now, I'm glad I can encourage you, too. Hang in there. Easier said then done. You are NOT a bad wife for not being able to have another baby yet. You need to make sure that your body is healthy enough to carry another baby so that you can be both wife and mother. That's a big job and this phase is all part of it. {{{Hugs}}}

Rebekah said...

Our doctor told us to wait a year before trying again (because I'd had a c-section)- we got another opinion and that OB said 9 months to a year (but a year was best). We then ended up waiting longer because of insurance issues and then not concieving right away so in the end it was 19 months after Levi died that we got pregnant again. The last 5 months were the hardest because that's when we were actually trying. I will say this though- I'm glad I waited. It gave me the time I needed to grieve and heal without the stress of more what if's. Ask questions but give yourself some time too- both physically and emotionally.

j said...

have you ever considered doing acupuncture. i know many women who have had some healing through non medicinal approach. i continue to wish you the best. keep us posted.

~SHANNON~ said...

Jess,

You are doing the best thing you could be for any future baby you have. You are getting yourself healed and ready to give them a wonderful warm womb that has had time to prepare for them. That IS being a good mommy. You need to give your body & heart time to cope, and time to grieve. You are young- you dont have to rush. I know you want a baby, but taking care of yourself is the best thing for you and all your children right now.

My prayers are with you. hugs.

SSBenjamins said...

I'm on my cell. I want to post more! I have had 2 Stillbirth babies 2 preemies and I want another one my last loss is almost 2 years now. Hang in there! Also I found you because I had heard of the blog thief and went to her site and saw your comment. Us she really doing this. How ubsured we have to stop her.

inadvertent farmer said...

I am sorry...I have been where you are (I lost identical twin girls to TTTS) we also had to wait. It took 2.5 years but we had another little boy (boy #4). I know nothing I say can make it better but please know that I understand. Kim