Wednesday, April 29, 2009

back to normalcy?

So tomorrow DH finally goes back to work after a very long winter! He works in construction so spends his winters home. I did have him get some stuff done around the house during the off season but not nearly as much as I wanted. I was also hoping for a little more notice, than, um, tomorrow! Oh well.

So now I will have to get up and take the big boys to school which means I will have to get J up and around to take too. DH has been taking them all winter, which worked out well, since J does not sleep through the night so it gave me some more sleep, sometimes. It also meant there were a lot of days that we sat around wondering what to do or just going to do nothing, while housework suffered. I am hoping that I can get stuff back under control, particularly laundry! I really need to do a load each and every day and get it put away before dinner or everything just gets all messed up. Once I get behind, its really hard to get caught up! The load everyday doesn't include cloth diapers. I wash those generally every third day, unless either we have had some nasty ones or on the day that I should wash them I won't be able to. I so love my cloth diapers though. I get them from a WAHM makes them that I met at La Leche League.

Tomorrow there is a dance kind of thing for all the head start sites so I am thinking we might attend that, they provide pizza, so I wouldn't have to cook! I think we are going to head up to bed and maybe watch a little idol up there before going to sleep. I have been so exhausted, like beyond exhausted, barely functioning. I am hoping that its a good sign and hope to get a BFP soon. This is exactly how I felt the last time, when we were on our trip in CT. I finally tested then and got a BFP, to only lose the baby a couple of weeks later. So I am now 8 DPO so I will start testing in a few days.

Monday, April 27, 2009


Well, it was in the 90's today, yes, in April! Today was just a boring Monday. I did have a first happen today. A friend called me for breastfeeding advice. She had a preemie and is having latch problems. I told her some stuff, mostly to stick with it, which she is going to (YAY!!). It was nice to have someone trust me to ask about something that they feel I am doing successfully. Well, successfully, I have had almost 18 months of practice!

I go back to the doctor tomorrow after my bronchitis and sinus infection. I am a little nervous, my throat is still really sore and I am still really stuffy. But I am not sure what they will do since I am breastfeeding and not only TTC but in the 2WW (two week wait, time after ovulating until a ;) BFP, big fat positive, or :( your period). So we are kind of limited for drugs and one doctor wanted to refer me to a surgeon for my tonsils and adenoids but there is no way I am doing that!

Cristian also randomly got the fever today. They said he didn't eat well in school, ate great last night though, and then tonight he fell asleep before dinner and then wouldn't eat. After a bout 20 minutes of tylenol, he was starving! We will see what tomorrow brings!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

tragedy gets worse

So this will be quick. DH and I want some alone time while everyone is sleeping! So I found out today that one of the survivors from the crash yesterday was a guy I graduated from HS with. His brother didn't make it and the brother's wife was on with him and six months pregnant. I guess they took the baby but it was just two soon and she didn't make it. The baby was a little girl I guess. Its hitting was close to home for DH and I since he wants a little girl so badly and we so just recently lost a baby. Part of me is angry that someone would even be on a bike that pregnant but they are getting a lot of flack on the newspaper website, who is doing a lot of shady reporting on it to begin with, from commenters so I will lay my judgement aside to only pray for this family that has experienced so much loss in such a short time. DH and I are praying a lot for them all. I trying to unite some class firends on facebook to do the same as well. Facebook is wonderful in that we are able is get out info so quickly.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

terrible, terrible day

So, my morning started out great. J slept about 11 1/2 hours last night! This is a first since he was about 2 or 3 months old! So I brought him into bed with me to nurse him, DH was gone to help his cousin pour concrete, and he nursed very hard for about 5 minutes, then sat home and projectile vomited all over me. Thank God it was only my own breast milk, so it doesn't really bother me at all. Then he seemed a little better and nursed more. We all came downstairs. The big boys ate and J didn't want to, more because he thought his waffle was too hot though. So then the morning went on well. DH came home and did some work outside. I should also say that A had a slight fever yesterday. My twins occasionally get random fevers with no other symptoms.

The twins' speech therapist was coming for a session. I had cleaned. The ST came and all went well. J was acting better. Towards the end of the session DH got a fire call and I told him to go. My parents invited us for dinner so we were planning on doing that too. After the ST left I got the boys around and went to the van. We were going to try to get a look at the brush fire but it was a ways out so I gave up and headed back to go to the grocery store to get chips to take to dinner. There is basically only one grocery store that always has carts I can take all three kids in to the store alone and its across town. So I was heading up a local highway 2 lanes on each side divided by a median, 40 mph speed limit, heard a call for the local fire department, saying a motorcycle accident with three bikes on the very street I was on.

I looked up it was right there. I slowed way down and got in the opposite lane from it. I thought about what I should do, but its not like I am trained responder and I also had three kids with me so I just went by. I saw bikes and people laying everywhere it seemed. I will spare the gory details. I took the exit right by my house to pull over, DH called somewhere along the line because he knew I was out and headed in that direction. I was of course frantic after seeing everything so I was freaking out then finally managed to get him to understand that I wasn't involved but just saw it. So then I called my mom to see if we could just head over there. In the time that happened when I went back on the highway in the opposite direction they were already speeding one person away faster than I knew an ambulance could go. The highway on that side was closed until at least dark. We heard one girl was 6 months pregnant which basically angers me after losing a baby that someone could be so careless with a baby's life.

So to try to get this finished up, we do know at least one person was DOA. J ended up getting sick again as we went to go in my mom's house. So he just kind sat with me the rest of the day. DH ended up going out and I know I won't be able to sleep without him but think I will go try to rest on the couch. . .

Friday, April 24, 2009

So day 2 and I am already not doing well blogging it seems! Now I am at the club blogging from here since I never got time earlier. Is it sadder I am blogging from the club or that I am even at the club but not drinking since I am hoping there is a little swimmer doing a dance with an egg and working its way to a nice cozy spot to stick for another 37 weeks or so? The "club," BTW is the local Eagles club where DH is a member. He is playing shuffleboard currently. I refused to play because well, basically I suck! If the object was to get all the quakes off the table or no where close to the line I have the capacity to be good at it.

Well, enough of looking like one of those freaks that never puts away their phone!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

1DPO and day one blogging!

So I think I am one DPO (days past ovulation). Not 100% sure since I only got a sort of positive on my OPK on Monday afternoon. I am going to go with Wednesday for my big O! lol Just feeling really impatient and terrified. I don't want to lose another. Sometimes I feel so scared I feel we shouldn't have even tried again. I wonder so often how people have taken one loss after another. I wasn't convinced we should have been trying when we lost the last one and now I forever will carry that guilt around that I wasn't convinced that I wanted the baby. I was miserable at first and just as soon as I was adjusting the baby was gone. So now I live with that guilt.

Here is some background since I am just starting this. I am J, I am 31, just for a couple of weeks! lol I have a DH, R (husband -for those not up witht his lingo!). Then I have twin sons, A and C from my first marriage. They just turned 4 a couple months ago. Then I have J, my 17, almost 18, month old son. Also I have my little sister who is almost 18 that lives with us, L. Are you following all this so far?

I am a SAHM, stay at home mom. (Boy, it seems like a lifetime ago that I learned all these terms now I use them like nothing and have to explain them to others!). DH is a driver for construction company. L is a lifeguard. A and C are in headstart. I am also the chairperson for the headstart council program here. I do a ton of other things too, more will come on that in time.

So how was that for my first blog post? I am not 100% sure about my plan for this, right now jsut want a place to express stuff and have to document my journies, in life, ttc. . .